My Thursday Thought

Lately I’ve been finding myself on a spiritual roller coaster in my life. One day I’m feeling encouraged and actually WANT to read my Bible and grow in faith and pray for others and show Jesus’ love. And then there are days where I feel like not caring, discouraged, alone, and frustrated with life. I used to journal a lot but, in the midst of motherhood, working full time and trying to physically take care of myself (like going to bed early or sleeping in) I just haven’t taken the time to do it. Getting into The Word daily has been a constant battle, which I know it is for everyone. So I’ve decided to use Thursday’s on my blog as a day to reflect on my week and what God has been teaching me. He’s doing a lot in my life right now and I’d really like to be able to share it with others. So, each Thursday (I’ll try my best…I promise!) you can check on here to see what sorts of things God is teaching me.

Lately God has really been teaching me about patience. Working in a child care center with 7 toddlers has been a big challenge for me. You put 7 two year olds together and you can learn the real meaning of the word “chaos.” You’ve got one kid screaming in the corner, another telling you they’ve got to go potty, 2 others fighting over toys, some who actually listen, and others who need your constant attention. By the end of the day I’m just drained. I get tired of saying “no” or “gentle hands” or “stop that” and putting kids in time out.

Now, here’s the weird part, I find patience to be really hard at work with 7 kids, but even when I’m home just with Josiah I struggle to be patient, and he’s just ONE kid. I guess there’s a whole new set of struggles that come with one baby, like having to spoon feed him when all I really want is to enjoy my own dinner (or to actually cook a decent meal instead of eating frozen pizza/food out of a bag or box since I have to make something quick). Or having to chase after him now that he’s getting into everything, wiping up spit up all the time, and especially getting up in the middle of the night when I’m dead tired from never getting a good night sleep. It all just builds up and builds up and eventually I just can’t take it anymore and I need a break.

Ok, now that I’ve realized that patience is a major struggle of mine, it’s time to repent of my impatience and make a new name for myself (Praise God for making us new again!). One thing I’ve started doing is putting post it notes of bible verses around the house. I’ve found these to be helpful in at least getting some encouragement from The Word every day, and my husband seems to appreciate them too! Here are some of the verses that have been up around the house lately:

“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” -Proverbs 16:24

“In the light of the King’s face there is life, and his favor is like the clouds that bring spring rain.” –Proverbs 16

“Thus says the Lord, cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the Lord…blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust IS the Lord…the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart, I test the mind, and even give to each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds…heal me O Lord and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are my Praise!” –Jeremiah 17

These verses have made me stop and think about my attitude and the workings between my heart and mind. In order to be patient I NEED to have pleasant words, I NEED to be refreshed by my God every day, and I NEED to trust in the Lord. My heart is deceitful and sick and the results of my impatience are never good. God is the only one who can heal me and save me from this struggle, and though it’s a constant battle I will fight against my flesh and the enemy to be a better mother, wife, caregiver, and friend.

Thanks be to God!