My Thursday Thought: Definitely Late

Here I am...only the 2nd week after committing to write and I am already late, way late. My excuse isn't that I forgot (because really I didn't) but just the stress of getting ready for my sister's huge wedding weekend and planning my cleaning schedule for next week.

One thing I have learned about myself these past few weeks is that so often I anticipate the future. I worry SO MUCH and make SO MANY long term goals that are WAY far from now that I get myself all stressed out and worked up. For instance, in my mind I have my whole ideal life planned. Andrew and I will live in a nice acreage right outside of Story City and Andrew will run his own coffeeshop here in town. I would stay at home with our kids and home school and I would be very involved in church (helping out with kids worship, being a small group leader, and maybe even helping to lead worship). On top of that Andrew and I would be very healthy and eat well, plus have enough money to go on a nice vacation every year. Now, who doesn't dream about having the perfect house, perfect job, and perfect family? I'm sure everyone does, but for me these were serious goals, and they weren't goals that I had for 5-10 years down the road, but more like 1-2 years! Obviously that is not realistic! I was stressing myself out over something I had no control over and I was worrying so much about the future that I had no joy in anything that was happening now.

Andrew helped to put things in perspective for me. It's okay to have hopes and dreams for the future and pray for those things, but I'll never get there if I don't have faith in God or even set short term goals for my life. And I definitely won't enjoy getting there if I don't have joy in what the Lord is giving me now. So, I've been reflecting on James 4. It says:

Submit Yourselves to God

¹ What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

⁴ You adulterous people,^[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us^[b]? ⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”^[c]

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

¹¹ Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister^[d] or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. ¹² There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Boasting About Tomorrow

¹³ Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

I've also been trying to work in some time in the Word every day. I've been setting my alarm for 5:45 a.m. so that I have time to shower and then spend 15-20 minutes reading before Josiah gets up. It went pretty well this last week, although I did miss my alarm a couple mornings and ended up not having the time I wanted to read. But I have noticed a difference since I started this. I have been more patient with Josiah and the kids at work when I DO get up and read and for some reason I've been able to get myself mostly ready for the day before Josiah even gets up which makes the morning a lot less stressful. I guess that time is really doing some good! My hope for this week is to continue to get up and read, be patient and joyful, and not even worry about making goals but rather focus on the changes that God is currently making in my life!