From The Desk of Sir Andrew

My lovely husband has been asking me for a pick-up truck ever since we got married. He’d always lay out a list of reasons why we needed one and I would always shoot him down. After almost 4 years of turning him down, I finally gave in and have allowed my husband to purchase a pick-up truck. It wasn’t until I saw this [well thought out] proposal sitting on the kitchen table that I finally agreed:

FROM THE DESK OF SIR ANDREW

Proposal to Allison, most esteemed and lovely wife:

On the matter of the machine known as a “pick-up truck,”

Thine humble, handsome, husband makes the following proposition:

That thy humble, handsome husband may look for a “pick-up truck” which shall:

a) not exceed 3500-4000 dollars

b) be an automatic, and therefore drivable by the esteemed and lovely wife

c) be four-wheel-drive

d) have the ability to haul a trailer without the addition of any parts to said “pick-up truck”

The following conditions will be accepted by thy humble, handsome husband:

a) should the financial need arise, thy husband shall willing part with said “pick-up truck” or “jetta buddy” depending upon need, condition, and value of said machines

b) thy humble, handsome husband shall surrender all Christmas and birthday money for the following year back to the savings from which the truck was paid for

c) thy humble, handsome husband shall not purchase any said “pick-up truck” that the esteemed and lovely wife has not driven, or passed on the opportunity to drive first

d) thy humble, handsome husband shall not purchase any said “pick-up truck” until he FOR SURE has a place to roast coffee

e) thy humble, handsome husband shall continue to love the most esteemed and lovely wife more than any “pick-up truck” regardless of how “cool” said machine might be.

It was so good, I immediately gave my permission and even removed some of the “conditions” that my humble and handsome husband thought of. It only took 3 days for him to find a truck that he wanted and starting next week we will be official owners of a pick-up truck.