This week has been such a downer! To be honest I've felt completely unlovable and alone. Whey does Satan do that to me? Probably because it was only a week ago I was feeling uplifted and encouraged so OBVIOUSLY the enemy has to strike when I'm doing well. What point does he have to attack me when I'm low? Deep down I knew he would come so I was trying to prepare myself by reading scripture, like:
My shield is God most high, who saves the upright heart. God is a righteous judge who expresses his wrath every day. If he does not relent, he will sharpen his sword, he will bend and string his bow. He has prepared his deadly weapons, he makes ready his flaming arrows. -Psalm 7:10-13
...and
Away from me all you who do evil, for the LORD had heard my weeping. The LORD has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD accepts my prayer. All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed, they will turn back in sudden disgrace. -Psalm 6:8-10
Well...the enemy struck and I am admitting to falling into his scheme. I've been feeling very lonely and unlovable. Hubby has been working a lot and I feel like I haven't really seen him in a awhile. I haven't had much time to spend with friends. I currently don't have a mentor which I've been longing for! I am so extremely worried about our finances and debt. I haven't been sleeping well. Bubby has been teething for what seems like 2 weeks now, which means approximately 6 poopy diapers per day and little sleep. I've been eating horribly (pizza, BBops, Chinese). I lost a client this week. I've had family in the ER. And lastly, my hormones are starting to go berserk because I'm done breastfeeding Bubby.
So, now that I've discovered my loneliness the only thing I can do is to give it to God and just simply trust. Too often I allow addictions like food or television to keep me from community or from striving to do better in my work. Well you know what Satan? God is on my side and he ALWAYS wins! I am thrilled to know that I don't have to fix my finances or worry about what will happen 3 years from now, or even tomorrow for that matter, because God told me I don't have to worry about those things. He will provide!
Allison, thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you've been feeling overwhelmed and attacked lately. But so glad that you are trusting God and remembering that He will provide! It's hard to see past our current situation/feelings and remember the truth that God is in control and His faithfulness stands with us. I know for me, it's so easy to feel trapped and like I am the only person to feel this or that way. But then I remember Jesus went through trials and temptations just like I have and he overcame them {Hebrews 4:12}. Makes me realize just how much more God cares for me - to not make me go through something alone.
I have been in your exact same shoes, with the same thoughts, same feelings and missing my husband like crazy! Remembering that Jesus is for us and wants us to trust in him with everything is awesome!!! And remembering that Jesus wants to carry our stresses is pretty great as well!
ReplyDeleteQuitting my job and staying home was probably the easiest and hardest decision we made. We knew that I needed to stay home but somehow when we worked everything out on paper in didn't look like it was going to happen. But it did. And by nothing that we did ourselves. We look back and are amazed at how God has answered prayer right when we needed it and given us what we need and more. Remember that if you are following what God wants for you and your family, it WILL work out!
My husband is in the military and sometimes he works at night. It can be very easy to fall into loneliness when you don't have your partner -- especially if there are any other concerns on your plate. I definitely understand money worries, try not to let them rule your days. Stay strong!
ReplyDelete:-)
Traci